We need ‘friends’ to make it through to the next stage of life.  Some of those individuals will remain friends for the rest of your life, others are there only for ‘a period of time’.   I have a couple friends that I don’t see very often, but when we do meet, we just take off from the last time we met.  Something we need to realize is that we have not been created to ‘do life’ on our own.  We have been designed to do life in the proximity and in relationship with other people, not in isolation.

A great question worth asking is ‘who is your good friend’ and, ‘are you’ a good friend?  It is one thing to have a friend, but it must be a two way relationship.  There are a number of verses in the Bible that suggest the importance of friendship:

• There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24)
• This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. (John 15:13 msg)
• Proverbs 12:26 (NLT) 26 The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.
• Proverbs 22:24-25 (MSG) Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads.
• Bad temper is contagious—don’t get infected.
• Proverbs 27:17 (MSG) You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.

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Growing up is hard, maturing is even harder.  Someone once told me that it is so much easier to learn from other people’s mistakes but learning from our own builds character and maturity.  The Bible is full of advice encouraging us to avoid and participate in certain behaviours.  In essence, the Scriptures seem to have been provided for our good in order to help us know who our heavenly Father is and to help us navigate this temporary earthly life.  This is where the stage of “Young Adult’ comes into play.

There are many words of wisdom given to us in order to help us overcome the evil one (1 John 2).  In the past, I have understood the directives in the Bible to be laws you must do in order to become acceptable or to remain in ‘good standing’.  Upon further investigation, I have found that ‘the commands’ are designed to help us navigate forwards in our maturing journey.  It is like someone who has been there before (the Apostle Paul) mentoring all the new believers in what clothes they should be wearing.  Some clothes look great on you, and others look terrible.  Paul is encouraging us to wear what we have been destined to wear, our robes of righteousness.  When we do, we fully reflect the nature of our new identity:  Our union with Christ.

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I remember having a few good friends in my high school years who influenced me in both positive and negative ways.  The opinions of my friends were far more important to me than the opinions of my parents.  There were many times I would lie to my parents by telling them I was going to ‘youth group’ at the church, when in fact I went to the local movie theatre with friends instead.  Since they both ended at the same time, there was no problem of my deception being discovered.  Just as the influence of peers and friends plays a major role in the social and life development of an individual, in the same way, I have found this to be true in my faith development as well.

The most awkward times of our lives are the teenage years.  These years are filled with brutal changes in hormones, brain development, physical changes, attraction awareness, and the infamous constantly asked question, ‘why?’  It is during this stage of life we begin to challenge everything we have been taught, questioning all opinions and rationale.

Moving from a child stage of faith to a young adult stage is very much the same.  We suddenly begin to question our faith. Continue reading →

My friend Reg Chute wrote this next blog, I hope you enjoy.  (Thanks Reg) 

Suppose I were to describe a person to you that you have never met. I could tell you everything that I know about that person right down to the smallest detail. I could impart to you every thought and even every emotion that I associate with this person. I could so thoroughly describe this person to you that it would be “as if” you knew this person too but in reality, you would only have “head knowledge” of this person.

Now let’s suppose that a friend of mine described this same person to you in as great a detail as I have. Would my friend have imparted the exact same “head knowledge” to you that I have? Or, would our descriptions reflect our own bias of that person based on our individual experiences with that person?

Since it is quite unlikely that either of us knew exactly everything that the person was going through or experiencing, or the choices that had to be made depending on varying factors, it is quite unlikely that both of us will draw identical conclusions of the person. It is therefore, reasonable to assume that the head knowledge that I have imparted to you may contain a certain amount of bias that may misconstrue the truth to some degree or another.

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The Apostle John has the most profound explanation for what it means to journey into maturity.  He describes it in three different stages, such as Child, Young Person, to Adult.  They are categories that each of us can identify with, after all, we see evidence of them physically all around us daily.  In this particular text he describes two determining factors that define what a ‘child’ level faith is.

• I am writing to you who are God’s children because your sins have been forgiven through Jesus.
• I have written to you who are God’s children because you know the Father.

Every single believer needs to know and believe these to profound things before they can move on towards maturity.

Forgiven

The first thing to know is that we are completely forgiven.  Why is this so important?  Growing up, I was taught that Jesus only forgives when we ask.  It was ‘conditional’ forgiveness.  It was always up to me to stay forgiven, to make sure I ‘confess’ every single possible sin I ever did.  The rationale implied that if I was driving a long and was suddenly killed in a car crash, I may not make it to heaven because I had ‘unconfessed sin’ in my heart.  The good news of the Gospel is that Jesus took away the sin of the entire world at the cross, once and for all.  If we don’t get this, we will be walking out each day in a very unhealthy fear of our heavenly father.  Our entire focus is not to be on sin, but rather on Jesus.  Sin consciousness will lead you to greater darkness in your mind that you could ever imagine.  Are you a Child?  Do you know your sins are forgiven?  If you don’t believe they are, may I suggest you may actually only be a baby infant, and not even a child yet?  The work of the cross is now finished, now believe it!

Who’s your Daddy Continue reading →

Young children love playing with whatever you give them.  Some parents buy awesome toys with many fancy gadgets and mechanisms built in, only to find that the spaghetti pot and lid seem to be just as entertaining.  Give a child an old spoon and a sandbox, and you will see a kid entertained for hours as they dig and build.  I’ve even seen children playing with ‘grown up toys’, toys that are made for kids but represent adult activities.  Items like, easy bake ovens, a toy chainsaw, toy cars, and even toy lawn mowers.  One time I witnessed a young boy pushing his ‘plastic mower’ on the already mowed grass while his parent used the real gas powered John Deer.  The little boy gleefully yelled out, “look at me, I’m all grow’d up”.

I think many adults who authentically love Jesus have done the same thing as that little boy.  They have mimicked what they have seen other believers do, and by doing so they think they are now ‘mature’.  I have sad news, it is not the ‘things you do’ that make you mature.  It is what you believe and how you allow the power of Christ, who ‘is’ your belief, to live his life out through you.  That is maturity.

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I pastor a small local church in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada.  It’s a relaxed kind of church where you’re warmly welcomed and then offered a delicious fresh brewed cup of premium coffee or tea.  Seating is relaxed as well, sit where you want and if you are a parent with small kids, we have a special place for you.  Round tables are spread across the back of our auditorium laden with colouring books, pencil crayons, crayons, Kleenex tissues, etc. These specially marked tables are designed for families with kids and all the baggage that goes with taking your kids anywhere, stroller, diaper bags, toy bags, snack bags, etc.

Each Sunday, while the band plays songs and the gathered church sings and worships along, the kids are running around like crazy.  They are rolling around together, wrestling, tripping, spilling drinks and crackers, bumping their heads on the table edge, or standing and staring at all the other crazy kids.  When a song has an extra ‘kick’ to it, some kids hold hands and dance around to the music.  Adults who want a refill on their coffee need to tread carefully as they navigate through the maze of little ones at the back.

One of my favourite things to do while all this chaos is going on, is to entertain and confuse the kids.  I have this laser pointer in my hand that is mostly used for advancing the power point slides while I’m teaching or sharing.  Standing at the back while the chaos is going on, I point the laser pointer light in front of a child or two, just enough to get their attention.  They have no idea where it is coming from, they think it is only right there in front of them.  First they stare at it, then look at mom or dad and point to the little green lit up dot.  An sure enough, every single time they will try and reach down and touch it with their finger or stomp on it with their foot.  I’m too fast for them, I move the light and make them chase it.  You guessed it, just like getting a cat to chase a laser pointer, it works just as brilliantly on small children.  The kids are so easily distracted and are so much fun to watch.

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The parable of the ‘Prodigal Son’ is not a story about forgiveness.  This profound allegory has a far deeper meaning.  The story is about the father’s acceptance and kindness.  It’s about his acceptance of both of his sons, regardless of their performance.  The first son’s performance was dismal, disrespectful, defiant, delusional and downright immature.  The second son in the story is not as innocent as many may believe.  He was self-righteous, judgemental, arrogant, boastful, proud and entitled.  If you compare these two side by side, you have to ask, which one is really the prodigal?

The beauty of this story is that the ‘prodigal son’ who ‘came home’ had a manipulative plan prepared to try and persuade his father so that he would ‘have a place to stay and eat.’  His motive was not ‘make things right’, he was only thinking of his own stomach.  It was when the father, who had ‘already forgiven’ him, who had ‘already accepted him’, threw his arms around him, hugged him, kissed him, welcomed him, it was then that the son repented.  It was at that moment the son believed and received the grace and love of his father.  The love and grace was already there, forgiveness was already there, but the son had to believe it in order to experience the benefits.

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Many years ago, I had the privilege of teaching a seminar at a large EQUIP conference in Southern Ontario.  This annual event was designed to equip teachers, youth leaders and parents with hints and tools as they serve in their local church. Each seminar leader was responsible for coming up with a topic that would capture the attention of conference participants and entice them to sign up.  When I presented my topic on ‘prayer,’ the conference organizers suggested I pick a different topic, something that people would ‘actually’ sign up for.  I did not change my topic.  They gave me this small little room that could hold 10-15 people, but on the conference day, they moved me to one of the largest rooms due to so many people signing up! Funny how that works!  ha ha.

One particular year, I was teaching away and I kept asking the participants what time it was, as the conference organizers were very clear we could not run overtime.  I forgot my watch at home that day.  At one of the break times, a gentleman came up to me and said, “I feel God is telling me to give you my watch.”  My response was one of surprise as he undid the watch from his own wrist and handed it to me.  I received the watch with much thanksgiving, and as I put it on I noticed that it was very light and ‘felt amazing’ on my wrist.  Needless to say, I did not have to ask the participants what time it was anymore.  I didn’t think much more of it, except about the fact on how nice and generous that individual was.

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Today was an awesome day.  I had the privilege of hanging out with my family at the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto, Ontario.  We recognized we had not ‘hung out’ as a family for quite some time so we took the day just to explore something we have never been to.   A few moments ago I told my wife Lori that today was a great day, it was a day of ‘rest.’  Her response was, ‘Really, to me it was a tiring day, what do you mean by a day of rest?”

It was true, it had been a very tiring day of driving two hours with Toronto traffic, walking through four floors of incredible exhibits, finding out where everyone wandered off too before we moved on to the next exhibit together.  Walking a lot of flights of stairs, dodging yelling kids in strollers bored out of their minds. Driving another two hours home with several stops along he way, and by the time 5pm rolled around, I had already walked 15,874 steps.  (that is a lot).  Yes, I was tired too.

So why was it a day of rest for me?  For me, I was able to take my attention off of my work responsibilities.  I was able to put out of my mind all the house projects that have piled up.  I didn’t have to think about what I had to do the rest of this week, or month or the pending events coming up for the rest of the year.  My mind was able to rest.  I was able to focus all my attention on my family and love them each individually.  It was fun just hanging out, and not having something else running in the back ground of my mind.  I saw another glimpse into my family that made me love them even more.

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